{"product_id":"the-vampire-gideons-suicide-hotline-and-halfway-house-for-orphaned-girls-9781941360200","title":"The Vampire Gideon's Suicide Hotline and Halfway House for Orphaned Girls","description":"\u003cp\u003eIn the house on the hill, there lives a vampire. But not of the sexy, mysterious, or sparkling kind. The vampire Gideon prefers to drink nearly expired blood from the local morgue while watching over the humans around him--humans he calls \"children,\" because when you're as old as he is, everyone else does seem like a child. And so many of these children are prepared to throw their lives away over problems that, in Gideon's view, appear rather trivial.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eHe sets about trying to fix them by means of an unofficial, do-it-yourself suicide hotline. He's sure that he's making a difference, maybe even righting the mistakes of his past. Then one day a troubled young girl calls, and his (undead) life gets turned upside down. Before he knows it, he's got a surly, tech-addicted teenage roommate--and, at long last, he begins to grow up.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Lanternfish Press","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50717203890450,"sku":"9781941360200","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_10572b5b-5ec4-405c-99b4-07f278862a1f.jpg?v=1734612647","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/the-vampire-gideons-suicide-hotline-and-halfway-house-for-orphaned-girls-9781941360200","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}