{"product_id":"the-story-of-the-house-of-maqswel-haggadah-with-excerpts-from-the-torah-talmud-mishnah-and-kabbalah-in-the-original-klingon-9798314464328","title":"The Story of the House of MaqSwel Haggadah: With Excerpts from the Torah, Talmud, Mishnah and Kabbalah in the Original Klingon","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eThe story of Passover has never been told like this. From the battle halls of Qo'noS to the coffee houses of Vulcan, Romulus, Bajor, Tellar and Ferenginar, the House of MaqSwel has carried Judaism to the stars - introducing the Qetlop, a weeklong Klingon Passover feast of honor, debate, and combat. Here, the Exodus is not just a story but a way of life for our modern day, a warrior's saga of struggle, strategy, and triumph.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eBoldly illustrated with the classic blue-ink line drawings of the original House of MaqSwel Haggadahs by battle hardened baristas, this book seamlessly weaves together excerpts from the Torah, Talmud, Mishnah, and Kabbalah (reinterpreted through the lens of Klingon Jewish tradition, of course). It captures the legendary customs of the Qetlop: a hunt for chametz with flamethrowers, the scapetarg, blades sharpened in Tzipporah's honor, Afikomen battles, mikvahs of fire and ice, and fierce Talmudic duels over Moses' tactics and the many Passover traditions of Earth. It is a tribute to all who wrestle with faith, fight for justice, and drink deeply of knowledge-preferably over a strong cup of coffee.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eThis year, we celebrate here. Next year, on Qo'noS!\u003c\/i\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003eNote: this book does contain AI generated art. Those who finish the 2nd chapter learn how the battle hardened baristas never trained in art, so they relied on crude AI - sometimes with humorous results. Flaws in the actual text, questionable humor, and excellent scholarship are entirely human-made. The author also confesses he did not in fact work with the Klingon High Rabbinical Council. And asks readers to please refrain from actually using matzah as a tactical weapon?CONTENTS: \u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Sefer Bereshit\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Founding of the House of MaqSwel\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Story of the House of MaqSwel Haggadah\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Mishnah Pesachim 10:4\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eDifferences and Similarities in the Klingon Seder: \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003eMany Tribes, One People\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Talmud Eruvin 13b and Avodah Zarah 37a\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAlternatives to Matzah: Klingon Foods to try at Home\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBattle Jerky (Qa'pla'kek)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSavory Meat Crackers (VeQ'bach)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBlood Soup Base (Qa'vam Sop)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ePreparations for the Seder\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Talmud: Pesachim 7b\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ethe Seder (Qetlop)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Talmud: Pesachim 116a\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003ethe 8 Questions\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Haggadah\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKiddush (Shehakol)\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Talmud: Pesachim 106a \u0026amp; 107a, Bava Batra 97b\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Klingon Shehakol for Kiddush in Hebrew, Klingon \u0026amp; English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eHand Washing\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Zohar III, 10b\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Mechilta d'Rabbi Yishmael\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePsalm 18:32-34 in English \u0026amp; Klingon\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePsalm 29:3-4 in English \u0026amp; Klingon\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKarpas\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Exodus 32:19-20, 26-28\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Blessing of Karpas, in Hebrew, Klingon \u0026amp; English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAfikomen\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Talmud Pesachim 108a, Pesachim 116a\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePsalm 133 in Hebrew, Klingon \u0026amp; English\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Opening of the Doors of Faith\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Talmud Pesachim 112a, Sanhedrin 98a\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eKlingon Tikun Olam \u0026amp; Tzedakah to try at Home\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eClosing of the Doors\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Klingon Sefer Bereshit 32:25-29\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAfter Word: Counting the Stars\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eExcerpt from the Human Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 98a\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAppendix: Klingon Passover at Home - Abridged and Simplified by Klingon Rabbis to Reduce Fatalities\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e \u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eQul Loyvo: the Cleansing Fire\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeqlaH: Study of Strategy\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Hunt for Chametz\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Matzah\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eQetlop\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGhop Nej\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTraditional Klingon Passover Battle Cries (Holiday Greetings)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRecipe for Raktajino\u003cbr\u003e\u003cb\u003eAnnotated Bibliography\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Independently Published","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52039764541714,"sku":"9798314464328","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_84f74736-38e7-47eb-8cbd-f386b69a97cc.jpg?v=1771412624","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/the-story-of-the-house-of-maqswel-haggadah-with-excerpts-from-the-torah-talmud-mishnah-and-kabbalah-in-the-original-klingon-9798314464328","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}