{"product_id":"the-locust-people-9798822945449","title":"The Locust People","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Time is a river, and someone somewhere is pissing in it.\" Dive into the wild, weird, and wonderful world of bizarre events blogger Whitman as he discovers a dormant group of beings set on curing the world from harm.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhitman's \"Holy Gale\" blog chronicles the peculiar, the eccentric, and the unconventional - but even he wasn't expected to run into a group of Shaquille O'Neal-sized Locust People rising after millennia from their subterranean nests.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhitman is a struggling writer who resides on Mullet Top, a knoll overlooking T-town and the center of hydraulic fracturing for Marcellus shale. There, the millions of gallons of chemical-laced water pumped into the hills stir the Locust People, causing the giant winged species to inflict mayhem, death, and destruction upon the fracking operations and T-town. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSuddenly Whitman finds himself and his latest soulmate, Haggie, within a reality not unlike the truth-cheated scenarios in his \"Holy Gale\" blog. Their new age journey begins at a Big Foot forgery with his ass prints in the snow; wanders to Smiley Face Stonehenge, a moonlit pizza projectile assault upon a giant Dean Martin mural; and continues through a pilgrimage to the shrine of Duct Tape Jesus, a metaphysical arrangement of Andy Warhol's Campbell's Soup cans. Along the way, they encounter yoga contests, a graffiti war between evangelists and Satanists, a table- top game of football using live locusts, and an induction into the Alien Anal Probe Hall of Fame.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Locust People is an enjoyable, well-plotted novel for adults and any environmentally-conscious reader. Its cast of colorful characters drives the narrative, which has more twists and turns than the Kama Sutra and ultimately reveals everything in the universe is concertedly connected.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Palmetto Publishing","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50491267055890,"sku":"9798822945449","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_cda9c0e4-f2e7-4cb2-b71d-354cc66db398.jpg?v=1730537531","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/the-locust-people-9798822945449","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}