{"product_id":"the-adhd-vampire-9781940161983","title":"The ADHD Vampire","description":"\u003cp\u003eA cruise ship for retired sex addicts, The U.S.S. Exciter, is the site of a party a lot of people on board will never forget (but some of them will, anyway). Lurking in the cargo hold is Horace Dracul, half-brother of the legendary Dracula, and he dreams of reaching the shores of a country where the blood flows like wine, and bright, shiny lights are seemingly infinite. However, another member of the Exciter's well-aged population has some secrets of her own: Martha--retired cyborg and ex-spy. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn the grand tradition of slasher-horror literature in which a lot of people are murdered in gruesome ways, The U.S.S. Exciter will host an orgy of violence and sex toys, and an easily-distracted vampire named Horace might have himself a bloody-good time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Bizarro Pulp Press","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50476353192210,"sku":"9781940161983","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_48cce3c3-ea10-4ddf-b867-77998b540c78.jpg?v=1730249081","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/the-adhd-vampire-9781940161983","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}