{"product_id":"tall-war-9798887962641","title":"Tall War","description":"\u003cp\u003e \"Don't wet yourself,\" my mother-in-law Corkabee says. \"I almost did.\" She looks me straight in the eye, something she usually doesn't do unless I am under suspicion for a misdeed. I cower instinctively. Then she unloads her bombshell. \"There's a spaceship in the Potomac.\" I stare at Corkabee. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. So, I do what all young men do in similar circumstances. I repeat what she just said.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \"A spaceship crashed in the Potomac?\" \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \"It didn't crash,\" my mother-in-law corrects me. \"Authorities say that it was designed to land on water. To splashdown. It looks like it came in hard, though, and sustained some damage.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \"On the Potomac?\" I say dumbfounded. I am amazed and frightened. A five hundred year old spaceship has landed on the Potomac River. Which means that inside that ship are the first full-size, six-foot, original humans to show up on Earth since the Downsizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e With a little bit of luck, they all died on impact.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Lionel A. Blanchard","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50487459774738,"sku":"9798887962641","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_864fd992-f091-4658-9913-b60003bc680e.jpg?v=1730441696","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/tall-war-9798887962641","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}