{"product_id":"ruby-and-the-v-day-vanpires-9798877911451","title":"Ruby and the V-Day Vanpires","description":"\u003cp\u003eFrom the critically-acclaimed authors of \u003cb\u003eBack for Seconds: A Reverse Harem Feast \u003c\/b\u003eand \u003cb\u003eRegifted: Ganged by the Ghosts of Christmas\u003c\/b\u003e comes a brand new reverse harem tale of holiday hedonism, and this time love (and lust) are on the line. They're magical monster-hunting vampires living in a van, she's a fed-up middle-aged divorcee attempting to geocache her Valentine's Day into oblivion. Perfect. Now the question is: can Quintain, Fletcher, and Marcus convince Ruby that the best way to resurrect her love life is with a few guys that are \u003ci\u003ealso \u003c\/i\u003eback from the dead?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRuby and the V-Day Vanpires is a stimulating short story about the importance of cleaning up public parks, practicing safe archery, and that age-and getting absolutely RAILED in the back of a van by three bi vampires-is only a state of mind. This tale is written for adults, and intended for 18+ audiences only. It involves explicit group activity, unprotected \"interactions\" with said undead suitors and their \u003ci\u003eahem\u003c\/i\u003e nocturnal emissions, slight adult-napping, the ol' fangy kiss to access liquid vampire chow, being impaled (the fun way, with 2 peens in 1 V), being impaled (the NOT fun way-like, with an arrow), sex pollen\/poison (aka have to the deed to survive), as well as brief mentions of Homeowners' Associations (HOAs), and geocaching.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Independently Published","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50407102218514,"sku":"9798877911451","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_4fd6345d-3a9b-40c7-a4da-645cb4e7c83e.jpg?v=1729237895","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/ruby-and-the-v-day-vanpires-9798877911451","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}