{"product_id":"romance-languages-9798989826568","title":"Romance Languages","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eCan my straight friend help me cash in my v-card by my birthday?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn one month, I turn thirty-five with my virginity still intact. Is there anything more embarrassing than knowing most of my French students have gotten more action than me? Je suis triste\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen I accidentally reveal this secret to my close friend and co-worker Seamus, South Rock's baseball coach, he offers to help me round the bases.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt has to be a joke, because Seamus is one million percent straight.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere's no way he'd want to fool around with a chubby language nerd like me, even though I've harbored a secret crush on him since the day he first walked into the teachers lounge.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut then I realize he's not joking.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm either entering thirty-five with a bang...or a friendship going up in flames.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Truman Books","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50904090116370,"sku":"9798989826568","price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_0f1b1aee-ab56-4451-829b-80550467c3b2.jpg?v=1738509426","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/romance-languages-9798989826568","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}