{"product_id":"i-wont-be-in-on-monday-9798300161040","title":"I Won't Be In On Monday","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eDear Remington Parker, \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eYou may think you're the handsome prince of the law firm and I'm your dutiful wench, but I'm not here to be your plaything.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eYes, you're handsome-ish.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eYes, you're a partner at the firm.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eYes, I'm your ugly duckling assistant.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eBut no, I'm not desperate, and I don't want you.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eI have no interest in being the nanny to your newly found kid when you want to go on dates.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eAnd I have even less interest in your offer to teach me the ways of the world.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eIn fact, after my makeover, I'm pretty sure I'll have plenty of men wanting to help me discover the joys of companionship. I do not need your crumbs.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eYours Sincerely, \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eJuniper Hardman\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI just never predicted how Remington Parker would react after he got my email and saw my makeover.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Independently Published","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50913905705234,"sku":"9798300161040","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_ff4e3569-9d2a-4fab-91d3-ff61df415dc4.jpg?v=1738800408","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/i-wont-be-in-on-monday-9798300161040","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}