{"product_id":"how-to-masturbate-properly-9781312325289","title":"How to Masturbate Properly","description":"Masturbation gave birth to a prophet. His name is Turbo Masturbo and he will teach you how to masturbate properly. He can come fast, any time, any place. Turbo got his superpowers by accident. It was a divine event: A higher force approached him and gave him a hundred Masturbation Commandments so he could announce them to the world. \"After reading this, every man will appreciate his hands more than any vagina.\" - Loony, author of Sex Deaths; Is She Faking?; Sex Jokes \"Turbo Masturbo says every man with hands is self-sufficient. It seems like somebody is pussy deprived.\" - Madame Magdalena, author of \"How to Snag That Millionaire When You Are Not the Prettiest Girl in the Room\"\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Lulu.com","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50868254998802,"sku":"9781312325289","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_d09bb2de-2b87-4bde-909a-34f04b743b32.jpg?v=1737726234","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/how-to-masturbate-properly-9781312325289","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}