{"product_id":"hosed-9781955930321","title":"Hosed","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe world's sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door...\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe's bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame retardant coveralls.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe's also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI want to move in next door to Ryan O'Dell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister's sex toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYeah, I'm the world's oldest virgin code-writing nerd.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd he's the world's hottest firefighter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I can't seem to control my libido when he's around.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhere is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeriously.... Have you seen them? Anyone?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe they're hiding in his bedroom. With my heart.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYeah, I know. I'm hosed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo hosed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon, scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no cheating or cliffhangers, and ends with a banging hot happily ever after.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Bang Laugh Love LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52160043712786,"sku":"9781955930321","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_e6f4d48e-4c48-4f3c-a6e2-efba6b6f32c6.jpg?v=1775032710","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/hosed-9781955930321","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}