{"product_id":"himbo-hitman-9781922741608","title":"Himbo Hitman","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat do you do when you're a hit man ... who's terrible at his job?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt first, I thought it would be an easy payday. A few pew pews for bad people, a couple of suitcases of cash for me. People have done worse for an honest living. Probably. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe problem is that after a couple of jobs, I've never actually managed to unalive someone, and not for lack of trying. Apparently, a basic requirement of a hitman is being a good shot. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDespite my constant duck-ups-that my boss knows nothing about-I'm given another name, and I very nearly follow through. Only after obliterating this guy's ear and his fervent pleading to spare him, I've sent him into hiding and collected the cash anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut wanted people are hard to hide, and bad guys don't like paying big money for loose ends. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow that Van Gogh has shown his face again-sans ear-I've scammed my way into his security team, which is sort of ideal since I'm now highly wanted as well. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, we have some \"trust issues\" to \"work through\" from our meet-shoot, and with the gorgeous bastard's brother missing, he refuses to lay low until they're reunited.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm not sold on the plan, honestly, but this guy has me questioning my sexuality along with my career path, and I'm at the point where I'm determined to see a job through to the end.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOr die trying. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut hey, at least then I'd finally deliver a body.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"May Books","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51298590884114,"sku":"9781922741608","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_b84a40d3-5928-44be-8d99-a2bc8337e064.jpg?v=1747828769","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/himbo-hitman-9781922741608","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}