{"product_id":"feisty-9781638801351","title":"Feisty","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI'm not too proud to admit that finding Mr. Right involves swiping right. Right? Welcome to dating in avocado toastland.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere I am, on my first blind date, ever, courtesy of a smartphone app and my two annoying best friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo what is Chris \"Fletch\" Fletcher doing, walking across the room, looking at his phone like he's pattern matching a picture to find a real person he's never met before?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOh.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOh, no.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe guy I drop-kicked in seventh grade cannot be my blind date. The guy who earned me this infernal nickname.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat's right.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeisty.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt was bad enough that last month all my old kickboxing training came in handy when a disgruntled noncustodial dad invaded my preschool class and tried to take one of my kids without permission.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat ended with news coverage of the closed-circuit video that parents saw in real time as I beat him up and pinned his neck to the ground while waiting for police to respond.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe won't mention the part where I thrust my arm into the air in a power stance and, uh...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRoared.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHey. HEY! Don't judge me. I protected those kids. And the kid most in danger was Fletch's nephew.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe same Fletch who just now noticed me sitting here.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBeing noticed is bad.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBeing his dating app match is even worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause no matter how hard I've tried to avoid him since high school, every time I see him I have the same reaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI wish I'd never kicked him.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI wish, instead, that I'd let him kiss me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich it looks like he's trying to do.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRight now.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Prosaic Press","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50389850226962,"sku":"9781638801351","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_8653029c-6224-4b1c-b1d1-512086edb8b9.jpg?v=1728931328","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/feisty-9781638801351","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}