{"product_id":"battlefield-earth-2024-the-first-the-greatest-9798869337771","title":"Battlefield Earth 2024: \"the first, the greatest\"","description":"\u003cp\u003eDive in to the incredible sky-shattering Universe of Outer-Space-Extraterrestrial races, their various policies and plans regarding Earth, their petty politics and partisan rivalries. Truth is far stranger than non-fiction. This Happy-Go-Lucky cosmic treatise reduces the fate of the planet and Galaxy down to pithy phrases and pop-culture references that most of us should be able to enjoy. Drawing upon a lexicon of more than forty books regarding UFOs, Alien Abductions, and Contact-scenarios from over the last 70 years including \u003cem\u003eChariots of the Gods\u003c\/em\u003e, BATTLEFIELD EARTH 2024 explores the military, scientific, political, and spiritual ramifications of the ongoing Alien invasion of the planet from the point-of-view of a mentally-unstable Veteran with PTSD. Learn all about the most annoying outer-space-Aliens that won't stop bugging us and what makes them tick. Revel in the complexity and nuance of dozens of Jesuses from across seven different Alien Star-Nations, and why they all want to be like him. Learn how to protect yourself from overly-aggressive Pleiadean women who won't take no for an answer. Learn how and why the NAZIs actually won World-War-2. We got Anunnaki, we got New-Age Ascended-Master Peace-creeps, Zeta-Reticuli, Space-Elves, Space-NAZIs, Reptoids, Insectoids. It's going to be Mental!!! Learn why Aliens need Jesus. Like bootcamp this book is designed to melt down your brain into a quivering puddle of truth-purged goo, and then build you back up again. All this and more in one big book sure to make a big splash and be the talk-of-the-town for centuries to come. And even if the Reptoids blow up the Earth to pave way for a new Interstellar bypass, we vow to go down laughing all the way.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Righteous Aeon","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50408520810770,"sku":"9798869337771","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_3cc88ce4-996d-4bd6-acea-dc6444db1c16.jpg?v=1740439925","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/battlefield-earth-2024-the-first-the-greatest-9798869337771","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}