{"product_id":"ark-of-baphomet-9798359510912","title":"Ark of Baphomet","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat's inside: The Oracle of Mythology. The Valley of the Ka. A living Nile of Egypt.  dam made Adam and Eve. Giants love to carnal-val. Cyclops are super gullible. We know the name of God, and we're not going to tell you. Abraxas in a speedo. The Almond Tower. Christos and Kristna. The Adrenaline Baptist. Hermes is a trickster. The Horned Venus. Are you my genitals? Love is a carbon emission. Horus is the placenta. Dowsing the goat's heath. Compassion for Lilith. Why Titans were into cannibalism and incest. A rattlesnake in the temple. Why we remember a flood. Sheep make good gene boats. Canaan's mom was his grandpa. Belzoni, the tomb-raiding giant. The Lady of your Lake. A psychological profile of Jesus. The Baphomet of Egypt. When genitals go to court. The cherub in the Sphinx. The oldest constellation. The ark of chimerism. Noah got roofied.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Independently Published","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50391104913682,"sku":"9798359510912","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0831\/4771\/8930\/files\/img_ca007698-617e-402b-a9bb-dc5c3361efda.jpg?v=1728962160","url":"https:\/\/surprise-castle.myshopify.com\/products\/ark-of-baphomet-9798359510912","provider":"Surprise Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}